Loving an addict hurts. You spend your days (and nights) struggling to find ways to help them. In the process, you are shoved deeper and deeper into the depths of their addiction. Just because you don’t pick up their habit doesn’t mean that you are not fighting the same addiction they are – just on a different drug of choice.
The trouble with loving an addict is that the world revolves around them. You turn every moment into an opportunity to “make things better” or at least keep life on an even keel. This can result in you being left by the wayside, feeling alone, unwanted and unloved.
Acknowledging Your Own Addictive Behavior
If you find yourself needing the addict in your life, you may have to face an important fact: you might be just as addicted to this person as they are to their drug of choice. Life with an addict is a whirlwind of drama. When they love, they love completely (and that is exhilarating) and when they crash they come down hard. Working to pull them back up may be exhausting, but it also sends a flood of feelings through your body. The chaos your addict creates in your life is like your next “hit.” You grow so accustomed to it that you need it.
Unless you break the cycle of your own dependence, you are going to discover that your own life is spiraling out of control.
Breaking Your Addict Addiction
So what can you do to break the bond you have so tightly woven? It isn’t always necessary to leave these types of relationships. But, it is vital that you understand its dynamics and work to create healthier ones. Here are a few things to try:
- Face Reality. It is easy to live in the fantasy world you have created where all is well. But, failing to face the reality of your loved one’s drug addiction (and your need for this toxic relationship) will only make matters worse. Accept what you are dealing with so that you can get the help that is needed and help you both return to sober living.
- Love your addict in a healthier way. Stop enabling their addiction and accepting the worst of their behavior. Set limits and work towards a stronger relationship without addiction.
- Look at the part you play in the relationship. Take a good look at yourself and the reason why you accept the negative aspects of this relationship. Until you understand your own motives, you won’t be able to make the necessary changes.
- Step out of your comfort zone. Don’t let things stay as they are just because you fear the unknown. Get out of your comfort zone and get the help your loved one needs – for both of you.
Getting Help
Facing an addiction is never easy. Whether you are addicted to drug, alcohol or even an addict, reaching out for help is essential to long-term recovery. Find ways to battle your addiction – and help the addict in your life – by checking out the resources at www.my12stepstore.com