If you are in recovery, you should be squarely focused on returning to a life of sobriety. But this doesn’t mean that you should close the door on a potential relationship. Who knows, you just might meet the love of your life while on your recovery journey. Let’s take a look at the dos and don’ts of dating while in recovery.
Be Honest About Your Recovery
Do not hide the fact that you are on the path to sobriety. A potential significant other should know about your commitment to recovery. That way, he or she knows what to avoid. A love interest will also avoid drugs or alcohol around you if you let it be known that you are on your path to recovery. If the person is really interested in you, he or she will continue to date you regardless of your position on drugs and alcohol.
Take Your Time
Jumping into a serious relationship early in your recovery process might not be the best idea. It is possible to date one or many people in the early stages of recovery, but getting heavily involved with another person right away could prove to be a mistake. Certain individuals will find that they need to focus on their quest for sobriety while others will be able to proceed through the recovery process while developing a serious relationship with a significant other. Make sure you’re doing what’s best for you.
Don’t Use Relationships as Distractions
Recovery is a delicate period of time in which an individual must focus on himself and his vision for his future. Sharing time with a girlfriend or boyfriend should only occur if you are sincere about the relationship. If you find that you regularly reach out to your new significant other as a means of distracting yourself from your desire for alcohol, you are doing a disservice to yourself and them. Sit down with the person and discuss your desire to recover and how it relates to your relationship.
Save the Big Decisions for Later
The first year of recovery should be dedicated to eliminating drugs or alcohol from your life and forming relationships with individuals who have interests outside of substance abuse. Dating in this time period is certainly acceptable. Yet making a monumental change in your life such as moving in with your new significant other, getting married or having kids will make the road to sobriety that much more challenging. Dedicate the majority of this first six months/year to bettering yourself and living life on the path to recovery.
Met my partner at ~4 months sober, he was 7 months sober. Talked to our sponsors, and promised each other that our sobriety would always come first, even before our relationship. That was almost 14 years ago. Still sober, still together.
congratulations to you both
congratulations to you both…. One day at a time!