My Friends Drink: Socializing with Friends that Drink Alcohol

Once you’ve made the brave decision and entered a 12 step recovery plan for sober living, you will probably run into awkward situations where you are out with colleagues from work, friends or family where you are expected to drink. Ok, if not to drink then at least to take a sip. Just a sip won’t hurt, right? Wrong! You know that one sip of arsenic would kill you. Same goes for alcohol. But how do you tell your well-meaning friends? You’ve worked so hard to get where you are, but they just don’t get it. How hard it is to say, “No, not tonight. Thank you anyway.” It can be VERY hard. Fortunately, there are tips that can get you through that event and help you continue with sober living for another day. And you already know that if you can get through this one hard day, you can surely do the same tomorrow!

Prepare Thyself!

Before going out with friends who will be drinking alcohol, prepare yourself by going through possible scenarios. Have your lines ready and practice them until you feel comfortable. The last thing you’ll want to do when socializing with drinking friends is go into a discussion about the 12 step recovery plan and why you chose sober living; so memorize lines to steer them away from the subject. How about something like, “No thanks, I’m not drinking tonight. I have an important meeting tomorrow morning.” Or you might try, “I think I’d feel better if I stick with a soda tonight.” Some people might also say “I’ve developed an allergy to alcohol. It makes me really sick.” Whatever you’re comfortable saying, use it. If you are in early sobriety, it’s also a good idea to avoid temptation altogether. Use your best judgment and talk to a sponsor or friend in your 12 step program before you go.

Keep the Top Half Full

Another trick is to always keep your glass full. Don’t get into a situation where someone feels like they need to fill your glass for you or push you to drink something that you don’t want. Let them know that you will order your own drink and that you will decide for yourself what goes into your glass. Just drinking water all night can get pretty boring, so consider a seltzer with a twist of lime or muddled fruit. It gives you something to keep in your hand without raising a lot of questions.

Avoid Triggers

Are your friends used to smoking a cigarette or an after dinner cigar with you? If you are used to having alcohol with your smoke, then it’s better to forgo the smoke for tonight. Stay away from anything that might trigger a craving for a drink.

Have a Backup Plan

It always helps to drive yourself so that you aren’t hostage to a situation. If the temptation to drink is getting difficult to handle, call a support person. They will be able to encourage you in your sobriety. Failing that, leave. Don’t worry about hurting anyone’s feelings. Just leave. You’ve worked too hard and are worth too much to let one social event set you back.