When a loved one is struggling with addiction, the impact ranges far beyond that individual’s pain. Addiction causes distress for each and every person who cares about the affected individual, and can lead to significant damage within families and relationships.
For those who love an addict, there is a strong urge to help. Figuring out the best way to give that assistance, however, can be a challenge. The following tips are offered in the hopes of giving loved ones the tools they need to help address a family member’s addiction.
Provide Loving and Unwavering Support
By the time an addict is reaching out for help, they have often done a great deal of damage to their lives and relationships. There can be a significant amount of shame associated with addiction, and your family member is likely all-too-aware of the harm that he or she has caused. No one wants to let down a loved one, and addicts carry a heavy burden in this regard. This is why it is absolutely essential to provide love and support as your family member moves through the recovery process.
This is true regardless of whether this is the first or the 40th time that recovery has been attempted. Tell your family member that he or she is loved, and show them by remaining supportive of their needs and best interests.
Create and Enforce Boundaries
There is an essential difference between providing love and support to an addict and enabling his or her choices. Family members must take steps to set clear boundaries as to what type of assistance is offered, and what the expectations are regarding that help.
For example, it is a loving act to allow a family member to move into your home and help them get back on their feet. However, guidelines should be made for such an extension of assistance. Those guidelines will differ from one family to the next, but common examples are requiring the addict to actively seek treatment through a 12-step program, remain sober, find gainful employment and contribute to the household in a meaningful way.
Part of providing love and support is creating clear boundaries, and being willing to withdraw a level of practical support if those expectations are not met.