Learn to Give it to God and Let Go

Posted on March 28, 2016 by MainAdmin

The underlying principle of any recovery program is the recognition that sometimes we need help to get to where we want to be in life. That help from other people, the support and the community they provide, can be the very thing that allows someone to put their addiction behind them and start their road to recovery.

There are many who also believe that a higher power is there to guide them during this time in their lives. Making the decision to turn your life over to God is the foundation for the program’s third and fourth steps.

God is Always There

Turning your will and life over to God is a critically important component of your 12-step program recovery process. It takes a considerable amount of faith to do so, but it will make you stronger.

Those who have kept their faith and bounced back from drug and alcohol addiction will testify that a higher power helped them on their road to sobriety.

It’s Time to “Let Go”

You can only control so much. You can’t force the surrounding world to act in a certain manner or treat you in a certain way. You have to let go of your desire to control people, things and happenings outside of yourself. Furthermore, it is important to cede control of your life to God. He will guide you on your quest for sobriety. He will also handle all of the distractions going on around you so that you can focus on beating your addiction.

Pray to God on a regular basis. Pray for yourself, your family and friends and the human race. The bottom line is that if you put your faith in God and you will greatly increase the odds of a successful recovery.

Allow God Into Your Life Today

Too many people who are saddled with addiction let other people and events alter their quest for sobriety. Don’t do this to yourself! Let God handle outside forces, and you will find that it is much easier to live life on a straight and narrow path.

Once you let the higher power bear those burdens, you will feel an incredible sense of liberation. It will be as though the weight of the world has been lifted off of your shoulders. You will have more energy to tackle your addiction. You will also feel as though you aren’t letting the world down. Make today the day that you let go and lean on God to keep you safe, sober and healthy.

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Spring Cleaning: Making a Fourth Step Inventory

Posted on March 21, 2016 by MainAdmin

As the weather warms and new life awakens around us, many people turn their focus to renewal, both in their homes, their jobs and their personal lives. For those who are struggling with addiction, spring is an excellent time to tackle their Fourth Step.

Renewal, rebirth and reawakening are all around us at this time of year, and it can be a powerful motivating force in seeking personal change. The Fourth Step can be one of the most intimidating aspects of sobriety, as it involves taking an unflinching look at the true nature of one’s character.

Making a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves is never a simple matter, and is not something that should be rushed or taken lightly. But this is the time to throw open the curtains, shake out the rugs and leave no surface untouched as we seek a sense of cleanliness and order.

Should Fourth Step Work be Written?

Many people believe that one’s moral inventory should be written down. Thinking about these topics is important, but having a tangible list of points and reflections gives an individual a customized inventory, and one that he or she can reference, add to, or study as needed and use in future steps.

There is a multitude of ways to structure your personal inventory, including worksheets, outlines and even spreadsheet formats. What is more important than the format itself is that whatever format you choose complements your personal style. A person who is most comfortable writing in prose is ill-suited to try to complete his or her inventory within a complicated spreadsheet, just as a born number-cruncher may struggle with writing out lengthy passages.

Resist the Urge to Skip Steps

Many people become deeply uncomfortable when faced with the need to look closely at their own choices and behaviors. When it comes to the Fourth Step of a 12-step program, however, it is vitally important to give your full attention to each and every aspect of your personal inventory.

This includes those topics that cause you discomfort or pain. In fact, it could be said that those are the areas that require the most focus. It may be tempting to skip the steps that force us to consider choices or events that are unpleasant, but it is essential to include those aspects of our lives within the process of creating a personal inventory and working on recovery.

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Is There a Difference Between Being Clean and Being Sober?

Posted on March 14, 2016 by MainAdmin

Individuals who are struggling with addiction often wonder whether there is a distinction between being “clean” and being “sober.” In the most basic sense, both things are essential to attaining and maintaining sobriety, but there are some key differences that should be highlighted.

What it Means to be “Clean”

When an addict refers to him or herself as being clean, what they really mean is that their body is free of drugs or alcohol. This takes place when the chemical components of their drug of choice have completely left their system, and when the body is able to function in a state that is unaltered by these dangerous influences. Being clean is often the

Being clean is often the first step to becoming sober, but it alone is not sufficient to reach that point. We are clean when we have gone through the initial stages of detox, and many an addict will tell you that becoming clean is a difficult process.

What Does it Mean to be “Sober”

Sobriety is a far more complicated subject. Being sober does entail having all traces of drugs and alcohol removed from one’s system, but that is just the beginning of the story. Sobriety encompasses three different aspects, all of which are important and all of which are central to any 12 step program.

The first is physical sobriety, which only occurs after the body has been free of chemicals long enough for the brain to begin to recover. Next comes spiritual and emotional sobriety, where the individual seeks to come to terms with who they are and why they have made the choices that led to their current state of being. This is the part of sobriety in which individuals also seek to look outside of themselves, and make things right within relationships that have been damaged by their addiction.

Finally, comes social sobriety, where an addict begins to move back into the social realm and have meaningful interaction with others. This is one of the most rewarding aspects of sobriety and is the goal that many addicts keep in mind during their difficult days.

Being clean is important, and is the first step back into the world of the living. True 12-step based sobriety, however, encompasses far more than simply having a body that is free of drugs and alcohol.

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Change How Your Addiction Ends

Posted on March 7, 2016 by MainAdmin

Change How Your Addiction Ends

Addiction is a complex topic and one that has been the center of many social science research projects and studies around the world. In many cases, individuals who struggle with addiction spend an inordinate amount of time delving into the possible causes of their addiction to varying degrees of success.

Although it is important to understand how one has come to their current state of being, it is also important to be able to recognize when such introspection has ceased to yield positive results. At the end of the day, no one can change the factors that led them to become an addict, but we all can have an impact on how we pursue and embrace recovery.

Celebrate Your New Life

Emerging from a pattern of addiction has been likened to a butterfly who breaks free from a chrysalis. Those first few months can be a challenge, and it can feel as though one is regaining their very footing the world.

During this time, it is important to make new social connections that will support your new take on life, whether through a 12 step program or another social outlet. Making an effort to find new friends who are also in recovery can give you the support needed to succeed, while also eliminating feelings of isolation and social stigma.

Get Active and Explore the Outdoors

Numerous studies support the belief that living a more active lifestyle and exploring nature is beneficial to health and happiness. This is especially true for individuals who have spent a period of time in a very unhealthy environment, or who have come through a difficult detox program and are now beginning addiction recovery.

Find a pastime that gets you outside and moving, and be sure to stop and breathe in the many benefits that the world has to offer. Many of us forget the simple pleasures of a long walk or a challenging hike. Perhaps this is the perfect time to rediscover them.

Find Positive Highs

The rush of adrenaline and sense of excitement that many addicts experience with their drug of choice is difficult to leave behind once they have embraced sober living. Those feelings do not have to be lost from your life, however.

There are plenty of positive “highs” that offer the same exhilaration, but with no life-altering consequences to deal with once it wears off. Be willing to branch out and try something new.Whether it is skydiving, mountain bike racing or simply taking a spin on a roller coaster, find a way to recapture the adrenaline rush in a healthy setting.

Addiction and recovery are a journey, and those who are able to embrace the future while paying respect to their past are in a great position to move forward in health and happiness.

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Recovery is Not a Destination, It’s a Life Journey

Posted on February 29, 2016 by MainAdmin

Recovery is a Journey

If you struggle with addiction of any sort, it is important that you think of recovery as a process rather than a destination. You can’t “make it” to the end of addiction recovery. It is a lifelong journey one day at a time that has no tangible end.

The key to staying sober is acceptance and surrendering along with establishing personal goals. Think of these goals as a string of destinations spaced out throughout your recovery journey and you will continuously make meaningful progress.

Admit That Sober Living Can Be Difficult

Plenty of addicts turned to drugs or alcohol because they did not know how to cope with life, living a sober life is not easy. Recovering from addiction is all about surrendering your will to a power greater than yourself each and every single day.

The problem with this challenge often lies in the fact that there is no concrete destination in which you can say, “I made it!” The truth is that you have to “make it” every 24 hours a day. Sober living is certainly not an easy challenge.

However, there is no shame in admitting that staying sober today, tomorrow and beyond is a struggle. Embrace this challenge, make the appropriate changes and follow through on the commitment you made to yourself and others to live a sober life.

Enjoy the Journey

It is often said that life is not about getting what one desires. It is more about enjoying the path to success. The same is true of addiction recovery. Sober living is quite similar in the sense that much of your personal satisfaction will result from your quest to stay sober for various increments of time.

Once you reach a full week, month, year, decade and beyond of sobriety, you should take time to reflect on how proud you felt throughout this journey. It’s all about enjoying the path to success rather than actually achieving something.

The truth is that you achieve something every single day by avoiding drugs and alcohol. Give yourself credit along the way for these important accomplishments. We seek progress, not perfection.

Focus on Living in the Moment

Too many people become trapped by living in either the future or the past. Sure, you want to be sober for years and even decades into the future. Yet you have to take the recovery journey one step at a time.

This means living in the moment. Relish the fact that you are not drinking or doing drugs today. Focusing on the current moment is the best way to achieve personal satisfaction. It will help you truly enjoy the high points of your life as you achieve them.

Make a conscious effort to keep your mind on what is happening right now rather than what you want to happen in the future or what has already transpired in the past. It will make your recovery journey that much easier and meaningful.

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Relapse: When You Think You Have Reached a Goal Line

Posted on February 22, 2016 by MainAdmin

Anyone who is battling the temptation of alcohol or drugs must understand that his or her road to recovery has no goal line. There is no end point to sobriety.

For many addicts, the struggle to abstain from their vices is a constant struggle that never fades away. Let’s take a look at some ways to help you prevent an addiction relapse.

Take it One Day at a Time

The best way to remain sober and resist temptation is to take it one day at a time. Start each day out with the goal of making it through the next 24 hours without falling into temptation. Repeat this promise the next morning when you awake and so on.

If you suffer a setback, it is not the end of the world. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that about one-half of substance abusers relapse during recovery. If an addiction relapse occurs, obtain treatment either through a 12 step program or with a mental health specialist.

Realize that tomorrow brings a new opportunity in your mission to achieve recovery.

Engage in Meetings

Your path to sobriety will be much easier if you lean on someone else for assistance. Meet with an addiction treatment counselor or a mental health professional periodically to discuss your progress.

Verbalizing your struggle, accomplishments and hopes for the future will reinforce your determination to stay away from drugs or alcohol. Do not be afraid to attend 12 step program meetings. Some even choose to meet with a counselor several times per week.

The more you meet with addictions experts, the better able you will be to apply the skills that you learned while in rehabilitation.

Create a Support Network

Do not embark on your recovery process all by yourself. You will find much-needed comfort and support through a 12-step sponsor, positive friends, family and fellow addicts in recovery.

Each of these relationships will provide positive reinforcement that boosts your confidence as well as your well-being. Do not be afraid to open up to someone in your support network and talk about your feelings. Letting it all out is often quite therapeutic.

Also, be available to your peers that you’ve befriended during therapy. If you are willing to engage them when they need assistance, they will be available to support you in your dark times. These bonds will only become stronger over time and help both of you remain on a straight and narrow path.

Reflect on How Far You Have Come

If you are one day into sobriety or years in, you should pat yourself on the back. Making the decision to put that part of your life behind you is an important step that some people are never brave enough to make.

Those who have attended counseling sessions and abstained from drugs and alcohol for an extended period of time should be especially proud of themselves. It takes a lot of heart and mental fortitude to keep a promise that you make to yourself as well as your family and friends.

So take some time to think about how far you have come from the depths of your addiction. It will renew your confidence and motivate you to remain sober into the future.

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What is the 13th Step and Why is it Bad?

Posted on February 15, 2016 by MainAdmin

Those who are familiar with the 12-step program know that a 13th step exists. The 13th step is not an official component of the AA program. Rather, it is a term that refers to an individual who has been sober for more than a year and starts a relationship with someone who has less than a full year of sobriety. And or more simply put, when someone with recovery-time takes sexual advantage of someone new to the rooms of recovery. While this may seem harmless at first glance, this extra step has potentially tragic consequences.

The 13th Step in Recovery Programs

There is a widespread fear that the 13th step is quickly becoming a part of addiction recovery programs far and wide. This type of predatory behavior should not be tolerated. Recovery programs are meant to provide support to those struggling with their addiction. It is imperative that newcomers are aware of 13th stepping and proactively defend against succumbing to its inherent dangers.

Dangers of the 13th Step

The problem with the 13th step is the imbalance of power. It creates a dynamic in which one individual gains power over another who is comparatively weaker. This step has the potential to sabotage the sobriety of both individuals. The 13th step is not strictly limited to men. Both men and women qualify as predators in the context of 13th stepping.

Look Out For Predators

Although some enter into relationships with recovery program participants in a sincere manner, predators also exist. Predators are those who make it a habit of targeting recovery program participants, especially those who have recently made the decision to become sober. If you were to poll AA members across the nation, you would likely find that a surprising percentage of female participants feel pressured to date or engage in sexual relationships with group members who have been in the program for a significant period of time. Some predators even target underage members. Though it is hard to believe, many of these predators actually encourage their targets to leave the recovery program, scrap their medication and refrain from extensive interactions with their family members. This is one of the most dangerous ways in which these predators can hurt people in recovery.

Be Wary of New Relationships

Plenty of people who are in the early stages of the 12-step program find that flirting with potential flames is an excellent means of connecting with others without the presence of alcohol. Yet these connections can lead to relapses if they aren’t handled in the proper manner. The key is to distinguish between healthy flirting and dangerous advances that can ruin one’s mission to remain sober. Unfortunately, it is difficult for the average recovering addict to make such a distinction from his own subjective viewpoint. It often helps to obtain the viewpoint of another person, whether it is one’s sponsor or a friend of the same sex. Another set of eyes on the connection will help you determine if the 13th step will put your quest for sobriety at risk.

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A Guide to Dating While In Recovery

Posted on February 8, 2016 by MainAdmin

A Guide to Dating While In Recovery

If you are in recovery, you should be squarely focused on returning to a life of sobriety. But this doesn’t mean that you should close the door on a potential relationship. Who knows, you just might meet the love of your life while on your recovery journey. Let’s take a look at the dos and don’ts of dating while in recovery.

Be Honest About Your Recovery

Do not hide the fact that you are on the path to sobriety. A potential significant other should know about your commitment to recovery. That way, he or she knows what to avoid. A love interest will also avoid drugs or alcohol around you if you let it be known that you are on your path to recovery. If the person is really interested in you, he or she will continue to date you regardless of your position on drugs and alcohol.

Take Your Time

Jumping into a serious relationship early in your recovery process might not be the best idea. It is possible to date one or many people in the early stages of recovery, but getting heavily involved with another person right away could prove to be a mistake. Certain individuals will find that they need to focus on their quest for sobriety while others will be able to proceed through the recovery process while developing a serious relationship with a significant other. Make sure you’re doing what’s best for you.

Don’t Use Relationships as Distractions

Recovery is a delicate period of time in which an individual must focus on himself and his vision for his future. Sharing time with a girlfriend or boyfriend should only occur if you are sincere about the relationship. If you find that you regularly reach out to your new significant other as a means of distracting yourself from your desire for alcohol, you are doing a disservice to yourself and them. Sit down with the person and discuss your desire to recover and how it relates to your relationship.

Save the Big Decisions for Later

The first year of recovery should be dedicated to eliminating drugs or alcohol from your life and forming relationships with individuals who have interests outside of substance abuse. Dating in this time period is certainly acceptable. Yet making a monumental change in your life such as moving in with your new significant other, getting married or having kids will make the road to sobriety that much more challenging. Dedicate the majority of this first six months/year to bettering yourself and living life on the path to recovery.

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Is it Love or Lust?

Posted on February 1, 2016 by MainAdmin

Have you met someone who strikes your fancy while in recovery or post-recovery? Perhaps you think you have found love. Though few are willing to discuss this sensitive topic, there is a difference between love and lust. Lust indicates the existence of a sexual attraction while love is based on a much deeper desire. For some, love and lust overlap to create a relationship that can’t be categorized as one or the other. When you’re in recovery, you want to make sure that the relationships you are in are healthy and supporting your overall goals.

The Initial Attraction

When you first meet someone who you believe you like as more than a friend, your brain’s neurotransmitters activate and your hormones take over. This beginning period of dating is an exciting time for both people. But love doesn’t exist right off the bat. The initial attraction is almost always fueled by lust. It is possible for love to eventually stem from this initial lust, but this transition does not occur in all relationships.

Love vs. Lust

While lusting for someone can occur instantaneously, loving someone takes time. You might care for your significant other quite deeply. However, if you were to remove sex from the relationship, you might find that you do not care for that person quite as much. Love transcends sexual attraction. If you are truly in love with your significant other, you will care for them when they are sick, make personal sacrifices to improve his or her well-being and stick with him or her through troubling times.

Pure lust is strictly about physical intimacy. Sure, you might spend a substantial amount of time dating your significant other; yet doing so might simply serve as a steppingstone to the ultimate goal of sex. Sex releases the love chemical, known as oxytocin, making your feel a special type of high that sometimes leads to the desire to “nest” together. Lusting for someone is quite different from loving that person inside and out. If you are strictly concerned with having your physical needs met, you lust for your significant other. If you really want to understand that person’s beliefs, opinions, feelings and thoughts, you just might be in love.

The Signs of Toxic Relationships

Ask yourself if you want to spend a large chunk of your free time with your significant other for the rest of your life. Do you want to help him or her grow as a person? Can you envision yourself living with that person for decades? Are you willing to lend that person support when times are tough? Do they support you in your goals for recovery? If you answered “no” to any of these questions, you are likely “in lust” rather than “in love.” A toxic relationship might start out with seemingly innocent sex but can eventually transition into a problem. If you aren’t best friends or close to it, the relationship is likely to turn toxic over time. Do not give in to your lust any longer than you already have. The last thing you want to do is find yourself in a bad emotional state from a bad relationship, as that could tempt you to go back to your old habits. If you are in a toxic relationship fueled by physical desire and little to nothing else, it is time to move on with your quest for true love.

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How Many 12-Step Meetings Should I Go to Each Week?

Posted on January 25, 2016 by MainAdmin

How Many 12-Step Meetings Should I Go to Each Week?

Each person’s passage through the 12-step program is unique. Some people in recovery require a daily meeting with their sponsor and peer support group. Others need a weekly or monthly meeting to remain sober and confident. The frequency of attendance at meetings should be determined on a case-by-case basis. Let’s take a look at why some people might prefer weekly meetings while others are comfortable with showing up on a more infrequent basis.

The Monthly Meeting-Goer

The logic of the individual who shows up to a 12-step program meeting once per month is unique to his or her personal situation. Sometimes people think that reducing attendance to a weekly or monthly meeting will help them conquer their addiction on their own. In a way, they consider it an accomplishment to lean on their sponsor and support group as infrequently as possible. If they can successfully stay on the path to recovery without showing up to multiple meetings per week, they believe that they have achieved personal growth.

The Daily Meeting-Goer

Recovery program participants who show up to meetings on a daily basis also have their own unique motivations and logic. Some feel as if they are more likely to revert to their old habits if they aren’t constantly surrounded by people who share the same struggle of addiction. Others simply enjoy the camaraderie that daily meetings provide. They have developed meaningful friendships with their sponsor and those in recovery. Spending a substantial amount of time with these friends bolsters their commitment to sobriety and one another.

What is the Ideal Frequency of 12-Step Meetings?

Do not use AA meetings as a crutch. Meeting with your support group on a daily basis or multiple times per week can become an addiction in and of itself that limits your personal growth. However, those who are new to AA will find that frequent meetings are quite beneficial. As you progress in your recovery journey, it is imperative that you try your hardest to gradually become more self-reliant. This means reducing the number of meetings across posterity with the ultimate goal of not needing to attend 12-step meetings because you will have conquered your addiction.

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