You don’t get to choose your family, but you do have a choice when it comes to your friends. Stop wasting your time on people you can’t count on. Here are some traits to look for in a real friend – and that you should model yourself.
Accept Their Faults, But Tell Them Like It Is
Honesty can be hard. You don’t want to make your friend feel like you are judging them, but then again, isn’t it up to you to tell them when they’re messing up? True friends do their best to find a good balance between acceptance and honesty. This is especially important for those in recovery. You need friends who will forgive past transgressions and accept you the way you are, but you also need them to let you know when you are beginning to show the signs of bad decisions. Whether you are striving to be a better friend yourself or are looking for people you can count on look for a combination of acceptance and honesty.
Accept Those Growth Changes
Change can be hard to deal with, especially when your friend seems to be becoming a whole new person. But, growth is important to becoming the person you are meant to be – sober. Find friends who are willing to accept these changes and grow with you. And when your friends seem to be changing before your eyes, be willing to see the new person they are becoming and revel in the positive change before you.
Believe In One Another
No matter how life has treated you (or your friend), you can turn things around with a little support. Statistics show that when people find a supportive group of friends, they are happier and more productive. So look for friends that work to build you up – and always be the kind of friend who is supportive of others dreams.
Be Dependable
People seem to come and go in our lives at a steady stream. But, when you find those few gems that stick it out through even the hardest times, then you have found a true friend. Being there for the people in your life isn’t always easy, but when you can build relationships built on shared experiences (good and bad), you will find a support system that can be counted on.
Listen – Really Listen
How good are you at listening? To be a great friend, you are going to have to learn to listen (really listen) when others speak. This may sound easy, but most of us fail miserably at being the kind of friend who hears others – and reacts to it. True friends care about you and show it by lending a listening ear and a caring attitude.
Go The Extra Mile
When you are hurting you need someone to step up. Look for friends who are willing to go out of their way to help when needed; but who also know when to relax and have a little safe fun too. Nothing is as special as a friend willing to roll up their sleeves and get to work, but also recognizes your need to step away from your problems for a while and recharge.
Good friends are priceless. Few addicts could make it through recovery without at least one good friend to lean on. Learn more about how to build solid relationships during and after recovery at My 12 Step Store.