Why do the Holidays Make Me Feel Lonely?

The holidays can feel like an awfully lonely time for those who are in recovery. You might be surrounded by loved ones; friends and co-workers at all sorts of social events but still feel a sense of loneliness. Part of your perceived seclusion can be attributed to the fact that you are in the midst of a dramatic life change that most others can’t relate to. It can also be because others consume alcohol during holiday events while you continue your sober living and quest for personal growth. If this sounds like you, keep reading to find out how you can put those lonely feelings behind you and enjoy the holidays.

Define the Real Problem

Plenty of individuals in recovery experience feelings of loneliness around the holidays even though they have loving friends and family around them. The problem is not a lack of company, but a lack of genuine connections. For some, the solution is to search out others who value sober living. For others, the answer is to find new social circles with individuals who share common interests outside of imbibing alcohol and other drugs. It is critical that you determine what the actual reason for your loneliness is. Once you have pinpointed the core of the problem, you can work on developing genuine connections with others while marching forth with your recovery.

Strive to Establish Fellowship with Others in Recovery

One of the best ways to eliminate your feelings of loneliness around the holidays is to aim for fellowship in recovery. Those who can forge bonds with others who value sober living will enjoy a meaningful life free of substance abuse. Fellowship in recovery provides key social support functions that every former substance abuser can benefit from. Consider joining a 12 Step group to find people with similar life paths. After all, it is often counterproductive to be around substance abusers, especially during the holidays when the alcohol flows freely. Instead, reach out to groups that provide support to those in recovery. You’ll establish meaningful bonds that just might last a lifetime. Even if these relationships do not stand the test of time, they will certainly alleviate your holiday loneliness.

A Sponsor Might be the Solution to Your Problem

In some instances, a sponsor will provide essential support to your quest for sober living. Sponsors are highly experienced individuals in recovery programs who make themselves available to those attempting to break free from substance abuse addiction. If you ever feel lonely even in the slightest during the holiday months, reach out to your sponsor for a conversation, meeting or social outing. He or she just might provide the support and common ground you need to keep your spirits up during the holidays.

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How to Show Your Gratitude this Holiday Season

The holiday season is a great time to think about all of the things you’re thankful for in life, especially when you’re going through recovery. It’s also an ideal time to show how thankful you are for those around you who have supported you through recovery. You don’t need a lot of money for presents to show gratitude. There are several other ways for you to give thanks this season.

Show Gratitude to Loved Ones

From a simple smile to a sticky note with a message of love on it, you can let your loved ones know how thankful you are for having them in your life. Cook a special dinner for a family member or friend to show your appreciation, or send them a thank you note in the mail. You can also plan to spend extra time with them, whether that means going to a favorite restaurant or taking a long walk at a local park. Spending time with loved ones or doing something surprising yet special for them helps them understand how much they mean to you. If you usually don’t express these feelings, the holiday season gives you the perfect opportunity to do so.

Help Those in Need

Expressing thanks for what you have also makes you think of those who are still struggling. You can show gratitude while also doing good deeds by helping those in need. Volunteer at a local soup kitchen, or donate clothing and other items to homeless shelters or other charities in your area. You can also make a monetary donation to help out. Whether you donate your time, money or material items, you’re making an important difference in the lives of those who need help the most during this holiday season.

Do Random Acts of Kindness

You can show your gratitude for life in general by doing random acts of kindness. In addition to doing nice things for your loved ones, these acts let you brighten up someone else’s day. Knowing that you have the ability to bring a smile to the face of a total stranger can help boost your self-confidence as you work toward sober living. This holiday season, think of small yet powerful ways to show kindness to others, such as buying a cup of coffee for the person in line behind you at a local coffee shop or leaving your waitress a tip that’s a bit more than usual.

Every time you show your gratitude, you take a step toward a more positive life. That positive energy can help encourage you to stay strong in your recovery process. So don’t just show what you are grateful for during the holidays, show it all year round.

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Politics and Religion: What’s Safe to Talk About?

Whether you’re gathering with relatives around for a holiday feast or enjoying regular dinners with family, it’s important to be careful about what you discuss. There’s an old adage about never discussing politics or religion with others, and there’s a good reason for that. These topics can be highly controversial when your opinions or beliefs differ from those around you. Bringing these subjects up can cause you additional stress, which can make it more difficult for you to work through 12 step recovery. Instead of talking about hot topics like politics or religion, here are several ideas of other topics to bring up.

Personal Topics

While some personal topics might be off limits, such as relationship problems a family member is having, you can bring up a wide range of other discussion topics. Ask family members how their jobs are going, how school is going, whether they’ve traveled anywhere interesting lately or what their plans are for the upcoming year. These are safe subjects that can lead to lengthy conversations about careers, education, travel and other topics. They also give you and everyone else at the table a chance to learn more about loved ones and what’s important to them. If you’re trying to become close to loved ones again while working toward sober living, these topics give you a great way to do so.

Current Events and Entertainment

You can also talk about things that are going in your community, your city or the wider world, but be careful to stay away from anything that strays too close to politics or religion. For example, avoid talking about upcoming elections. Instead, bring up amusing or funny things that you’ve seen online or in the news. You can also ask family members if they’ve seen any interesting movies or TV shows lately. If you’ve seen some, you can share your opinion of them.

Hypothetical Questions

These offer a fun way to learn about loved ones while enjoying a meal. They also give you a way to learn more about yourself as you go through addiction recovery. You can start by asking family members things like what kind of superhero power they would love to have, what kind of animal they would choose to be or where they would go if they could pick one place to travel to. You and your family members can take turns going around the table and asking these questions for an amusing mealtime.

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Keeping a Journal Can Help Your Recovery

Keeping a Journal Can Help You Track Progress on Your Recovery Goals

 

Going through addiction recovery requires a lot of self-reflection and a greater awareness of your thoughts and feelings. This is why it is so important to find ways to ease stress and anxiety as you work on your goal of sober living. Writing in a journal can provide you with a way to both relieve stress and keep track of your thoughts. When you write in a journal, you have a way to record what you’re thinking and feeling during each step of the recovery process.

Achieving Your Goals

In addition to writing in a journal to get your thoughts and feelings on paper, there are several other benefits that this activity offers. Journal writing gives you a chance to hold yourself accountable for your goals. When you write down what you hope to accomplish during 12 step recovery, you’re much more likely to stick to those goals and see them through. Even if you struggle to reach those goals, writing in a journal lets you explore why you’re having trouble. This can help you identify the challenges you’re facing and come up with ways to successfully overcome them.

Tracking Your Progress

Your journal also offers a way for you to keep track of your progress. You can flip through the pages of your journal to see how far you’ve come and pay attention to how you’re currently doing as you write each day. Don’t be afraid to write down any thoughts or feelings that might seem to go against your recovery. These thoughts and feelings provide you with insight into how you’re coping with this process and make it possible for you to think of ways to motivate yourself to continue on your journey.

Choosing a Journaling Type

You can simply write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal, or you can get a bit more creative. For example, you can keep a spiritual journal that allows you to explore your thoughts and feelings as they relate to your spiritual beliefs. You could also express thoughts and feelings as they relate to gratitude or to your health goals. You can write down thoughts and feelings as they occur, or sit down at the end of each day to write about events that happened and how you felt about them. No matter which form you choose, remember that writing in a journal is a helpful way to work toward sober living.

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November is Gratitude Month – Whats On Your List?

Practicing Gratitude Can Help Your RecoveryWhen you’re working on your goal of sober living, there’s one simple yet powerful thing you can do to help you overcome addiction. Practicing gratitude as a daily habit can go a long way toward helping you get through addiction recovery. With November being Gratitude Month, this is a perfect time to get started on forming this important habit while going through the 12 step recovery process.

What Does Gratitude Include?

Feeling grateful means that you recognize and truly appreciate what you have in life. Whether that’s close friendships with others or just being able to wake up to sunny skies most days, when you start focusing on gratitude, you’ll find plenty of things to be thankful for. Keep in mind that gratitude includes every part of your life, from small moments to entire aspects of it. You can express gratitude for the work you do, the hobbies you enjoy, the area you live in or the people you love. You can also be grateful for the little things in life, such as a cup of tea on a cold winter day or the smell of spring flowers.

How Does Gratitude Help Addiction Recovery?

Taking time to think about what you’re grateful for while going through a 12 step recovery program encourages your mind to focus on positive things rather than dwelling on negative thoughts. It also helps you become more mindful of how wonderful your life is, giving you hope for a full recovery in the near future. When you focus on being thankful each day, you’ll find that you experience less stress and more calm. Expressing gratitude puts you in a positive state of mind on a regular basis, which provides you with ongoing encouragement through the recovery process.

How Can You Show Gratitude?

There are several ways that you can express gratitude as you work toward sober living. Simple ways include waking up each morning and thinking of a few things that you’re grateful for before you start your day. You can write these down in a notebook or just acknowledge them in your head. From time to time, you can also show gratitude for others by doing something nice for them. This could be sending a card out of the blue, taking them out for lunch or offering to help them with something. As you go through your day, you can also make a habit of noticing and being thankful for the little moments in life.

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Learn to Stop Fighting Friends and Family

Recovery is a beautiful thing and moving into and through it doesn’t have to be a tumultuous, difficult time. Instead, it can be a time of great beauty, of joy and of transformation. To get relief and find that joy, though, it’s important to cease fighting. People in recovery can sometimes rail against the things and the people who mean the most to them. You can move beyond that, though. Stopping all that fighting is one of the best ways to feel better and continue moving forward so you can get on with your recovery and have the great life you deserve.

Addiction Recovery Truly is Possible

When you begin to recover from addiction, you might want to handle it your way and do things the way you think will be best. That makes complete sense, and it’s very common, but you might want to consider that the people who love you generally know what’s best for you. They want what’s best for you, too, and they want to make sure you get through any struggles or difficult times. So when they offer advice, don’t just resort to fighting. Listen to them and keep an open mind. You can find the joy in your life, when you work with your friends and family to get all the help you need. Ceasing fighting anything or anyone can be the best and most important thing you’ll ever do.

Sober Living is Joyous Living

Living sober is a beautiful thing. When you cease fighting, you get closer to your goal of a full, 12 step recovery. You have to release the idea of who is right, because that doesn’t matter. What matters is the happiness and joy you can find in life when you have sober living as part of your everyday plan. A 12 step recovery plan comes with challenges, of course, but it is the way you get through those challenges that matters most.

When you surrender yourself to the recovery and allow yourself to open your heart and mind to getting help, a huge weight is removed from your shoulders. That weight is also removed from the shoulders of the people who love and care about you. Let them help you, and give them the opportunity to focus on getting you well again. When you cease fighting, release your ego and embrace the joy and beauty in life, you can move toward (and stay in) complete and total recovery.

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Finding Miracles On Your Journey to Recovery

It is so important to know about miracles and how they work. They happen every day to ordinary people just like you and me. However, they typically aren’t going to happen without a little push. For example, those who suffer from addiction aren’t usually going to be cured for the rest of their lives without at least some help and effort. Once the effort is put in, miracles can happen and people can stay away from the temptations, leading healthier and happier lives as a result.

Some miracles are events not explicable by natural or scientific laws. Such an event may be attributed to a supernatural being of divine intervention by God or gods, a miracle worker, a saint, a religious leader or spiritual person. Regardless of what form they take, the most important thing is to open yourself up to these miracles when they come around.

Miracles in Recovery 

Some of the best miracles of addiction recovery are when the people go on to do incredible things for others. Their lives take on new meaning and they want to become a mental health life couch or something else extraordinary. The people who are in positions of helping are those that witness the miracles more than anyone else. If you are on a 12-step recovery path, you may see miracles and be pushed towards your own.

In your darkest hour, you might find someone who is willing to talk to you and serve you, giving you the time and support that is needed to shed light into your life. You can learn so much from the devotion that others have. It’s capable of working its own miracle in your life, but you have to be open to it.

Miracles are different for everyone and it’s important to realize that they come in very different packages. Doors of opportunity will open at the right time. Someone who is working on addiction recovery may have a breakthrough.

Miracles Will Happen 

Those who have suffered from addictions and have come out the other side can become the ones who help others battling addiction. Think about it — who is better equipped to guide you through the 12-step recovery than someone who has already been there and stood where you stand now?

Miracles are when someone enters your life and knows how to help you. They know what to say to you to help you re-evaluate your life. Miracles are when you say no to the temptation. Miracles are when you stand up at a meeting and someone thanks you for sharing your story.

Expecting miracles is natural when you are looking at changing your life. They may be small or they may be earth shattering, but they are happening. You simply need to keep your eyes and ears open to what’s going on around you. The miracle you receive may set you on a brighter path for the rest of your life.

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How to Be Grateful When Life Gives You Problems

Changing a longtime habit is never easy, but recovering from addiction is especially difficult. Even as you maintain your sobriety with a 12-step recovery program, you have consequences to face and real-life responsibilities to fulfill. It’s easy to feel frustrated or defeated as those responsibilities pile up. Remember: a sober and busy life is still far easier and more productive than the apathy and destruction that any substance brought you. When you face difficult moments or struggle to keep your own promise to yourself, it’s important to nurture your spirit by stopping to appreciate the blessings you do have.

Honor Your Creator 

Spirituality is a humbling force for addicts. When you acknowledge that a higher power is responsible for creating your world and forgiving your mistakes, it gets a little easier to navigate the tricky journey toward recovery. Many 12-step recovery centers incorporate prayer into their programs, and you can follow their lead by saying grateful prayers for the improvements you’ve made during recovery. No matter what religion you follow, you will always be able to look upward and express gratitude for the world around you. 

Appreciate Your Family

You probably didn’t get this far alone. Whether your biological family or a circle of close friends helped you transition from addiction into recovery, those people deserve recognition for their loyalty. Thank your loved ones for their sacrifices, and stop to appreciate the privileges you have because of them. For example, if you’re staying with a friend or a former boss vouched for you professionally, think of them next time you want to complain about a minor injustice.

Celebrate Your Recovery

You’ve already taken accountability for your choices, and you deserve to reward yourself for approaching a milestone that some addicts never reach at all: the addiction recovery process. The moment you make a commitment to stop drinking, you become a member of a large and thriving community of victors. When cravings get bad or you can’t stop remembering past mistakes, take a moment to be completely present. Remind yourself that you were strong enough to stop drinking and get help, and be grateful for the progress you’ve made so far.  

Make a Choice to Be Happy

You know how quickly individual decisions can become full-fledged habits. Fortunately, you can use this to your advantage as you pursue a happier, more fulfilling life. As you struggle with personal loss, unpredictable emotions or even professional obstacles, make a conscious choice to notice beauty and pursue happiness along the way.

Substance abuse once stood in the way of your genuine happiness. Now that you’re in addiction recovery, it’s important to actively seek the people, places and experiences that make you happy. Gratitude grows, and the more you stop to appreciate your everyday life, the more gracious and positive your attitude will become. Optimism is contagious, so start by spreading it throughout your own life.

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Finding Gratitude During Recovery

Gratitude is a beautiful feeling, but it’s more than just that. It requires action, and the more action you take out of gratitude, the more gratitude usually comes back to you. Feeling grateful is a big part of addiction recovery as you start to realize all of the beauty around you. When you take that feeling of being grateful and carry it with you into the world each day, you can pass it along to others who might be in need of a helping hand or a little bit of a boost. Although gratitude is a good thing, it requires work and there can be challenges that try to get in its the way.

Benefits of Gratitude

Practicing gratitude can change your life in a meaningful way. Studies have shown that people who go through the world with a grateful attitude experience higher levels of positive emotions, are more outgoing, more forgiving, and feel more alive. Gratitude can help you celebrate where you are in the present, kicking your addiction and working to becoming a healthier individual. It can help you block negative feelings and emotions that threaten your recovery, and even help you find a higher sense of self-worth and appreciation. 

Working toward Gratitude

Being grateful is easy when things are going well, but it’s a lot harder when times are tough. There will be ups and downs in any 12-step recovery, and some days you might not feel as grateful as others. Those days are when you have to work on your gratitude. You can keep a journal of the things you’re thankful for, remember good times, think about an upcoming event that you’re looking forward to, or call up a friend who can help you see the beauty in the day. It’s a conscious effort to become and stay grateful sometimes, but it’s well worth working toward each and every day.

Another way you can work toward gratitude is to help others. By understanding what others are going through, you can feel better about your addiction recovery, realize how far you’ve come and provide hope to people who could really use someone to talk to. Whether they’re on their own 12-step recovery journey or they have other concerns in their life, you can help show them a better day while increasing your gratitude at the same time.

Facing Challenges

In the midst of a 12-step recovery, you sometimes will face significant challenges to your gratitude. You might have a bad day, feel sick or end a relationship. You could lose a job or have to move to a new place. No matter what happens throughout your addiction recovery, though, it’s important to remember that you can get through anything that challenges you and keep your gratitude. Life is precious and beautiful, and there is always something to be grateful for. Some days you just have to look a little bit harder, but there’s always gratitude to be found.

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Do We Ever Recover From Our Addiction?

Addiction isn’t a life sentence. Everyone follows a unique path toward addiction recovery, and if you still struggle with substance use, it doesn’t mean you will struggle forever. Every emotion you feel is temporary, and when you choose to be strong and focus on long-term rewards, it will get easier and easier to weather painful setbacks.   

Addiction Is Treatable

Even if you identify as an addict and plan to be in recovery for the rest of your life, you won’t necessarily have to deal with cravings or psychological turmoil forever. Addictions are completely treatable, and you have the power to overcome it.

Many 12-step recovery programs are legitimate medical treatment plans that treat addictions. Psychology Today defines addiction as a condition that results when a person ingests a substance (e.g., alcohol, cocaine, nicotine) or engages in an activity (e.g., gambling, sex, shopping) that can be pleasurable, but the continued use/act of which becomes compulsive and interferes with ordinary life responsibilities, such as work, relationships, or health. Oftentimes, users are not aware that their behavior is out of control and causing problems for themselves and others.

Addiction and its consequences aren’t trivial or easy to overcome. However, receiving treatment is the only effective way to do it, and too many addicts never make that first step. But for those who do, it can be very successful.  According to research that tracks individuals in treatment over extended periods, most people who begin and continue treatment stop using drugs, decrease their criminal activity, and improve their occupational, social and psychological functioning. And at least one-third of alcoholics report they fully recovered with the help of treatment.

Recovery Is Always Possible

Stand on the productive side of these statistics and make a choice to start treatment or continue your recovery rather than dwell on the difficult challenges it will present. Your memories of substance abuse will last much longer than your cravings, but that can be a good thing as it helps you learn from your mistakes and move forward with your life.  

Addiction isn’t an incurable or inevitable disease. If you don’t want your future to resemble your past, you must admit that addiction has ruled your life for too long and turn toward a much more reliable and benevolent authority, such as a 12-step recovery center or a health care provider who can help. Treatment begins as soon as you want it to begin, and your success rate depends on your continued commitment to recovery.

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