How to Enjoy Summer Barbecues While in Recovery

Posted on June 27, 2016 by MainAdmin

Summer barbecues can be a challenge when you are going through recovery. You don’t want to isolate yourself from those who may enjoy a few drinks in the sun, but you don’t want to be pressured to join in either. By thinking ahead and making some plans, you can participate with your family and friends without compromising your sobriety.

Have an Exit Strategy

There is no shame in planning an easy escape if things get too stressful or old friends get out of hand. Try these solutions to ensuring you will be able to leave when the time is right for you.

Don’t become the designated driver. Your old buddies may think that now that you are enjoying sober living that you can fill the role of designated driver. Make it clear at the beginning of the night that you aren’t willing to play chauffeur if your buddies get out of hand and aren’t able to drive themselves home. You can call them a cab, though.

Don’t offer rides to and from the event. This sets the stage for you to become stuck and unable to leave if things become stressful. Arriving solo, with a sober buddy or with someone who won’t mind ducking out early if you begin to feel uncomfortable gives you the freedom to leave when you’re ready.

Set a time limit. It is perfectly acceptable to set a time limit for your stay at the barbecue. Let others know at the onset that you only have an hour (or two) and then you must be on your way. You don’t need to explain why, but if you feel more secure with a justified reason, make plans that require you to leave at a specific time. Meeting an old friend for coffee, picking up your dry cleaning or simply getting back to some work waiting at home are all legitimate reasons to leave the party.

Go Easy on Yourself

Gatherings of families and friends have a way of taking on a life of their own. If the barbecue suddenly takes a turn that makes you uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to make an early exit. Give yourself permission to consider your needs first and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that you’re not ready to be around that kind of environment. Recovery takes time, and you don’t want to jeopardize anything by putting yourself in an uncomfortable position.

Reward Yourself

Everyone deserves a reward for a job well done. Plan an activity to help you unwind and relax when you get home. Reading a good book, such as Mindfulness and the Twelve Steps, watching a favorite movie or spending time journaling are all great ways to reward yourself at the end of the day. They also give you something to look forward to and will take your mind off any difficult moments at the party.

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The Newly Sober Pink Cloud: What You Need to Know

Posted on June 20, 2016 by MainAdmin

Today you are sober. And today, your journey in sober living seems like a very good thing. For many individuals who are newly sober, it’s possible to just float on that so-called pink cloud. Life seems very good; everything is on the right path. But pink cloud syndrome can actually be very, very bad for you.

What Is Pink Cloud Syndrome?

Those who have lived through addiction and are long-time sober individuals will tell newcomers to sober living that pink cloud syndrome happens to many people in the first few days and months of sobriety. To define it isn’t easy, but it is the sense that everything is just fine and that life is great right now, even though, in reality, it’s not quite as perfect as it seems.

Those who are facing addiction and recovery may find themselves in a place of self-delusion. It is a type of self-defense mechanism that individuals face in which they don’t fully accept their current circumstance. But that pink cloud can dissipate very easily when you eventually come to grips with where you’re at in life and why.

You may be facing criminal charges. You can’t drive. You may have lost your job. You might even be seriously injured. The problem with not recognizing and accepting these things now is that, when you do begin to try to put the pieces back together, it becomes much harder to do because you’ve been living in denial for so long. This can, in turn, lead to severe depression and, in some people, relapse.

What Can You Do?

What’s most important is that you have made the decision to get sober. That’s a huge step, and you should be proud of yourself for making it.

Unfortunately, if you’re riding the pink cloud, you may not be as willing to listen to the words and wisdom from friends, family and those in your support group. Only you can begin to recognize that, while sobriety is excellent for you and you are on the right path, you have to understand that recovery is an ongoing journey that needs to be focused on one day at a time. Use daily meditations to help you or even journal about your life right now. Be honest with yourself about what you’re feeling and how you’re dealing with things, and don’t overlook the importance of taking this slow. Attend 12 step meetings where you can share and perhaps you will be able to talk about your situations, maybe others in the group will have solutions from experience that will help you.

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5 Ways to Celebrate Dad on Father’s Day

Posted on June 13, 2016 by MainAdmin

For many people, finding ways to celebrate holidays and special events while also embracing and maintaining sobriety can be a challenge. Todays family for various reasons sometimes has more than one dad or special person that you acknowledge. We are pleased to offer the following suggestions for making the most of this Father’s Day, whether you are planning a celebration for a loved one, thinking of something to do with your dad or coming up with ideas on how to celebrate Father’s Day with your own kids.

Host a Cookout

Summertime is perfect for heading out into the backyard for a good old fashioned cookout. Gather friends and family together and fire up the grill, because a Father’s Day party full of good food and plenty of laughter is an event that everyone will feel comfortable attending. Try asking guests to tell their funniest story about their own dad, and you might just learn something new about your friends and family. By hosting the party yourself or at the home of someone close, it is easy to create a drug and alcohol-free celebration to remember.

Visit Somewhere From Your Childhood

Whether you are the dad or you are spending time with your own father, taking a trip down memory lane can be a fun and rewarding way to celebrate Father’s Day. If you are still in the town where you grew up, think about a place that holds special memories from your own childhood. Then, research ways to recreate those memories or take a stroll back in time. Whether it is with your own kids or with your dad, a day spent at one of your childhood favorite places will be a creative way to spend a summer’s day. Parks, baseball fields, amusement parks, ice cream shops and toy stores are just the tip of the iceberg in planning this type of outing.

Get Outdoors and Active

One of the best ways to have a healthy and enjoyable Father’s Day is to take your family out to get some fresh air. A bike ride, hike or visit to a nearby state park are all great options. Depending on where you live, choices can range from a zip lining tour, a day on the lake or an afternoon on the beach. No matter what the setting or activities, heading outdoors (and limiting electronic devices) is a good way to reconnect and refocus on the importance of family.

Create a Book of Memories

With a little bit of planning and an investment of time, it is possible to create a book of memories to celebrate your father or document your own journey as a Dad. There are several companies that allow you to upload images and type in text to create a finished product that is very impressive. There are templates to help with the overall design, and most companies offer assistance by phone or email if your creative juices dry up. At the end of this project, you will have a book that will celebrate your particular flavor of fatherhood and a perfect gift for your dad.

Have a Father’s Day Movie Festival

Think about the movies that had the biggest impact on your life as a child, and then track down a copy of those films for screening. This is a great way to spend time with your own dad, or to give your kids a peek into your childhood. Popcorn and candy will round out the event nicely.

These are just a few ways to celebrate dad on Father’s Day. No matter what path you choose, there are always plenty of ways to get together with friends and family that also support a choice to embrace sobriety. At My 12 Step Store, we are proud to offer a range of products to both strengthen and celebrate the decision to live a clean and sober lifestyle.

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Top 5 Characteristics to Look for in a Best Friend

Posted on June 6, 2016 by MainAdmin

Top 5 Characteristics to Look for in a Best Friend

It’s during the rough patches in life that we discover our true friends, and going through rehab is no different. Your addiction may have already damaged many of the relationships in your life, but now that you are on the road to recovery you will be able to see what true friendship really means. Sometimes best friends change during different times in one’s life or as people grow in life.

The decision to pursue rehab or a 12-step program is an important one, and it is vital that you disconnect from the negative influences in your life.

Here are 5 characteristics to look for a best friend.

Understanding

A true friend will understand what you are going through and will appreciate that you are trying to get your life back on track. If at any time you feel your friends are working against your rehabilitation and new journey in life, it is time to cut ties. Sometimes a friend who just listens to you as crazy as you may sound without judgment is how you become best friends.

Support

A best friend should support you on your road to recovery without question. This includes removing some risky temptations and places you may have gone to together before recovery, but don’t expect your friends to change who they are. Supporting someone is very different than enabling someone. When you support someone you’re supporting a friend’s positive actions in recovery to move forward. If you’re enabling someone you might me supporting friend’s negative actions that prevent someone from moving forward.

Forgiveness

True friendship like any relationship is hard to come by, so when you find one that works, you should be willing to fight for it. Forgiveness is the key to remaining best friends while one of you or both of you suffer from addiction. You’ll never move forward if one of you is still hung up on the past.  Forgiveness is key to move forward with any serenity at all.

Respect

This is an important one. Respect comes in many different forms and functions. Respect for your recovery can trump respect for privacy and personal space. While a true best friend may not always agree with you, they will value your perspective. Respect in friendship is also a two way action. If you want respect from a friend you also have to be able to offer it back.

Dependability

A very big part of friendship is simply showing up. No matter what, a true best friend will always be there for you when you need them. This includes a new life in recovery. No matter how far off course you have gone, your best friend should always be willing to help you back on track or allow you to meet your needs to stay on course.

Finding a friendship that encompasses all these characteristics can be difficult, so when one comes along, it is probably worth fighting for. Even if that means having to say you are sorry. Because remember, at the end of the day, we choose the ones we want to be around and those are the people worth sticking around for.

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Vaping vs. Smoking: Is it Still Addiction?

Posted on May 30, 2016 by MainAdmin

Vaping vs. Smoking: Is it Still Addiction?

A lot of people are wondering whether vaping is the new smoking. An addiction to smoking can be gradually weakened with a transition to vaporizers yet there is no guarantee that the smoker won’t merely replace one vice with another. E-cigarettes and vaporizers really are a double sided coin. On one side is their potential to wean smokers off of real cigarettes. Yet these nifty little vaporizers might also be addictive in their own right.

Are Vaporizers the New Nicotine Fix?

E-cigarettes are generally thought of as a comparatively safer means of nicotine delivery than traditional cigarettes. Yet they still send nicotine to the lungs (without combustion), creating the very real potential for users to become hooked just like they were with real cigarettes. Anyone who is considering making the switch should be aware that there is still an element of risk with e-cigarettes and other vaporizers. In some cases e-cigarettes have become easier to get your nicotine fix on with because smokers are vaping in public indoor areas and restrooms where it is illegal to smoke traditional cigarettes. While smokers may not smell the e-cigarettes odor themselves, it does produce a visible, detectable and sometimes scented smoke.

Other Vaporizer Safety Issues to Consider

Another important consideration is the heavy metal exposure claims made by researchers at the University of California at Riverside. They found that some vaporizers exposed users to potentially harmful heavy metals. It is also interesting to note that a separate study shows that vaporizing liquids can cause users to come into contact with potentially dangerous levels of formaldehyde. Formaldehyde is known to cause cancer.

Researchers at Johns Hopkins University studied the impact of e-cigarette vapor on mice. Mice exposed to such vapors suffered a weakened immune system. The study also showed that those dangerous free radicals typically found in tobacco smoke are also present in e-cigarette vapors. The number of free radicals was actually significantly higher in e-cigarettes.

Are We the Human Guinea Pigs for Vaporizers?

Nobody knows the long-term effects of e-cigarettes because they have not been around for very long. Though they seem to be healthier than traditional cigarettes, no one knows for sure whether they are merely another unhealthy substitute for addictive cigarettes. Those who rely on e-cigarettes as a means of weaning off of cigarettes should not be alarmed by this article. There are plenty of proven benefits to making the switch to e-cigarettes and other vaporizing devices. However, in the long run, the goal should be a complete cessation of nicotine products and a life that is free from all addictions.

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Importance of Marijuana Anonymous as Pot Becomes Legal

Posted on May 23, 2016 by MainAdmin

There’s something happening in states on the West Coast that narcotics addicts will never have to face: the thought of being able to purchase their drug of choice at any corner store in broad daylight. However, as more states legalize recreational and medical marijuana, that is exactly what many Marijuana Anonymous members are facing. In fact, the number of Marijuana Anonymous groups has grown since pot is becoming legal in parts of the country. As alcohol is legal with its restrictions it still causes a great deal of addiction for many people. The same is for marijuana.

Finding Support and Serenity

Support groups such as Marijuana Anonymous utilize the same 12-step recovery programs as Alcoholics Anonymous and other organizations in an effort to assist users in facing day-to-day challenges without returning to drugs.

Marijuana is considered a gateway drug, one that leads to other addictions such as alcohol abuse. While pot is widely seen as less damaging to our bodies than other drugs and substances, it is still responsible for chronic memory loss, anxiety, paranoia and even delusions in some users. Individuals may feel the need to chase the serenity they felt while using pot. However, with the support of Marijuana Anonymous it may be easier to find serenity and beauty in the everyday. An addictive person will find it almost impossible to smoke pot at a recreational level.

Personal Growth

It can be difficult to make meaningful changes without a support network, so Marijuana Anonymous offers a safe place where individuals can explore the feelings that caused them to turn towards drugs in the first place. This group provides a forum for self-expression that is sorely needed by many individuals.

One of the ways that those who are struggling with an addiction are able to maintain focus is to look for small wins along the path. Finding small and healthy ways to reward themselves as they work through personal challenges with the support of faith, friends and family can be very effective.

Prayer and Meditation

The power of prayer and faithfulness are celebrated throughout the 12-Step Marijuana Anonymous journey, and many individuals find that having additional resources to read and refer to can enrich the journey and provide encouragement even in low times.

Finding the right path towards health and healing is a purely personal journey, but one that can be eased with the support and love of your community, your friends, your family . . . and perhaps most importantly, with a Higher Power.

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You Don’t “Graduate” From Addictions

Posted on May 17, 2016 by MainAdmin

Graduations are well-known as a rite of passage: from kindergarten, from grade school, from high school and from college. In each of these situations, you are given a set of tools and sent off into the next stage of life with a way to use them, often secure in the knowledge that you are simply “graduating” to the next step in your personal evolution.

Why, then, do we consider the time after we complete an addiction treatment a “graduation”? Does this leave people with the false sense that they magically return to their lives as soon as they graduate from a specific program?

From One Phase to Another

The term graduation really is a misnomer in this type of situation. It addresses addiction as an “acute care” or short-term rehab fix that has been completed, giving the impression that individuals who have graduated are “fixed” and that’s the end of it. In reality, the graduation is simply a new beginning, the ability to re-start their journey toward recovery in a more positive direction while continuing their rituals and focus on self-care and self-actualization.

A Caring Send Off

Even though graduation may not be the most accurate term, it’s hard to dispute the rush of warm feelings that seeing someone start a new chapter of their life brings. This is true for the individual who is ready to take that step as well as for the caregivers and others who are new to the path of health and recovery.

Specifically for newer travelers, a ceremony where graduates are celebrated allows the hope that they can continue and ultimately graduate to the next stage of their journey to recovery as well. Some of the time-tested ways that individuals are celebrated are through reciting the Serenity Prayer in unison, ringing a bell or singing together while forming a physical bond.

When someone has taken the huge step of taking back their life, there are many ways that you can provide them with a tangible token of hope and healing, such as sacred jewelry that will have a special meaning to you both. Whether you call it a graduation, a celebration of life, or simply goodbye for now, the bond that is created in rehab is one that can help support both individuals during a difficult time.

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How to Find Friends in Recovery

Posted on May 9, 2016 by MainAdmin

How to Find Friends in Recovery

As anyone in recovery knows, getting to the point where sobriety is your “new norm” requires a great deal of effort. Once an individual has reached that point, maintaining sobriety becomes his or her primary focus. Finding friends who are also sober is important, as it allows people in recovery to create and benefit from interpersonal connections while also supporting their primary goals. Figuring out how to find like-minded friends, however, can sometimes be something of a challenge.

Taking the Group Approach

One of the most common ways of finding like-minded people is to search out groups that support a sober lifestyle. Going to 12 step meetings and sharing about yourself is one of the best ways for others to know about you. Going to fellowship with others after meetings is also a great way to find others with similar interest as yours. For many; NA, CA, CMA, and AA meetings are a great place to start. There are few places that offer a more diverse mix of people who have embraced sobriety, are seeking sobriety, or are in the beginnings of a return to sober living.

There typically is a range of different meeting types to choose from. People living in or near a major metropolitan area can even take part in meetings in nearby areas, giving them a greater range of social groups from which to find new friendship.

In addition to recovery programs, there are also numerous support groups that offer an environment in which to meet others who have chosen a path of sobriety. Your options will be defined by one’s geographical area, but it is well worth the time and effort to give these groups a try.

Making Use of Technology

Technology has changed the way that many in the world live, work and play. We are now able to access information, share our opinions and communicate with individuals across town or across the globe, all from our laptops or phones. These advancements have changed the way that people maintain their sobriety, as well.

There are apps that help people locate meetings and support groups, and others that send motivational messages to help support a clean and healthy lifestyle. It should come as no surprise that there is also, at least, one dating app that can help connect sober singles who are looking for love.

Known by the name Sober, this app gives users a place to post their profile and search for others who share a commitment to sobriety. Many users appreciate the fact that having this important choice made clear up front can make dating easier. There is no need to struggle with when to disclose that sobriety is a central focus in one’s life, and also no need to ask probing questions to find out if one’s date is similarly inclined.

No dating app is perfect, and Sober users may still have to sit through a series of awkward first dates. At least they can do so with people who share a common goal, and who might become new friends if a romantic connection is not there.

Becoming sober is a cause for celebration, and maintaining one’s sobriety is a path that can lead to an improved outlook on life and a more enriching daily experience of the world. Finding friends with whom to share these experiences is important, and the team at My 12 Step Store hopes that these tips will make it easier to get out there and make new connections.

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5 Beautiful Ways to Celebrate Your Mom on Mother’s Day

Posted on May 2, 2016 by MainAdmin

Families are an important form of support during the recovery journey. So on Mother’s Day, show your mom how much she means to you and how grateful you are for her love and support during this difficult time. Or how much you love and support her recovery journey.

You can celebrate with a brunch or dinner gathering with family and friends. You can have flowers delivered or bring flowers to her in person. You can mail a Mother’s Day card and even with a gift. But most of all in today’s technology world a phone call is a must. Here are five more ideas for fun (and sober!) ways to celebrate mom this year.

Plant a Garden

Plant a beautiful, colorful garden for your mom as a surprise if you can. As the plants grow and bloom, your mother will feel honored seeing your dedication to improving the beauty in her life. Strategically place your mom’s favorite plants and flower colors along the front of the garden to keep them center stage.

Schedule Pottery Classes

Attend a pottery class with your mom to learn a new skill together. The mug, dish or figure you create in pottery class can represent your recovery, renewal of self and dedication to progress. Remember to inscribe the date in the bottom of your creation to commemorate the occasion.

Plan a Movie Night

A movie night can help strengthen and renew the bonds between you and your mom as you share your favorite box office hits and cult classics. Make sure to bring a fleece throw blanket along with plenty of movie snacks.

Give Her a Charm Bracelet

Give your mom a charm bracelet that can act as a platform for future gifts for years to come. A sterling silver bracelet will hold small charms that celebrate various events and accomplishments in life. With just a quick glance, this piece of jewelry will fill your mom’s heart with pride and love.

Visit Local Landscapes

Visit the local landscapes together with your mom to share a new perspective on the world around you. During the walk to the viewpoints, you can discuss the way each person’s path through life twists, turns and intertwines with other journeys.

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How to Find Passion for Your Recovery

Posted on April 25, 2016 by MainAdmin

How to Find Passion for Your Recovery

As you begin your journey into recovery, you may find it difficult to find the passion that will sustain you through sober living. Rest assured your passion isn’t gone. It may have taken a detour for a while, but you can and will get back on track and experience the passion in life that comes from being you.

What Is Passion?

Passion is the driving force that makes life worth living. It has the power to bring you to new heights and achieve goals you never dreamed you could accomplish. In life, it is often associated with the work you choose to do to support yourself and your family, but that’s not all passion is.

Passion is the force that gets you out of bed in the morning so you can meet the day with joy. It is the inner desire to learn and succeed. Many believe that passion comes from a higher power that lovingly guides you through life. Finding that passion is not difficult if you take the time to think about who you really are and what you love. Try these tricks for uncovering hidden passions you may have forgotten existed:

  1.  Make a list of things you’ve always wanted to do, but haven’t. This may include learning a musical instrument, taking up photography or writing that children’s book for your grandkids. Don’t worry that your list seems unattainable. It holds the secret to your real passions.
  2. Make a list of activities that you enjoy that totally absorb your attention. If time flies when you are sewing or painting and you have a difficult time setting it aside when the day is done, put it on your list. Likewise, if working on cars, photography or computer graphics is your thing, add it to the list.
  3. Consider your natural skills. Maybe you are a sensation in the kitchen whipping up original recipes and serving the family with pride. Perhaps you are great with numbers or have a knack for words. Maybe you’re good with gardening, designing with flowers or creating sensational parties. Write these down.
  4. What causes do you feel strongly about? Perhaps you are a champion save-the-earth supporter who enjoys growing organic foods. Or maybe you feel the education of our children is a more worthy cause. Helping the homeless, feeding the poor, or helping raise money for those in need. Make a list of those causes you care enough about to get involved.

Putting It All Together

Now that you have completed your four lists it is time to look for common threads. Try to group items from each group into common areas of passion. For example, if your added writing a children’s book as something you’ve always wanted to do, time flies when you are interacting with children, you are a natural communicator and you feel strongly about education, your passion may lie in working with or teaching children.

If you aren’t sure what your passion is, that’s okay. It will come in time as you participate in your 12-Step Program and continue on your journey to recovery. Give yourself time to explore options and try out new ideas. Your passion may lie in unexplored areas that only can be uncovered by trying out new things. Try keeping a journal of your reactions and feelings about new activities and add them to your lists regularly.

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